23/03/2009
Alrighty, so this is to be the random ramblings for a fairly fun person... I am not going to spout any 'gyan' or get into
04/04/2010 or 04-Apr-10 as I write dates now. More on that later.
Judging by how long it has taken me to come back to this, it is fairly evident that I have a serious procrastination problem, more serious now then it ever was.
I also live(d?) in denial. I am 60 KILOS overweight. And I need to lose it all. Fast. IF I hope to have a semblance of a normal life and persue a few of the things I like, like treks, adventure sports etc...
Oh, and attend numerous weddings without feeling like a FAT FRUMP!!! (Never mind, hope to find someone for myself!) God, what is this month and engagements/weddings! EVERYONE seems to be getting "hitched".
Today I caught up with 4 gurl friends... women I've known for a longgg time - I've know individually, meaning we aren't from a group or anything. They don't know each other, expect as my friends. Women who, much like myself, were a little different from the crowd, who wanted to do this, be someone, go somewhere. Who didn't confirm. Women who didn't come with specific time-lines. All of these women have recently either gotten engaged / hitched / planning their biggg day. All of this has gotten me to think. To think about my life. To take a long hard look at what passes for my life and re-evaluvate if this is all I want. A high-stress low-paying, emotionally draining job, horrible health (try being DOUBLE your 'ideal' body weight and you will understand what I'm talking about.) compounded with strained relationship with my only living parent.
No.
This is not all I want from my life.
In a previous version of who I am today - I knew this boy/man. He looked up to me...he adored me.. he was in love with me, but I didn't understand it at the time. To me he was only a good friend, very good friend. One of the things he mentioned he liked bout me was that I didn't whine about the cruve balls life threw me. I just dealt with them. One day, I was moaning about my weight (I had just started putting it on then) and he asked "So, what are you going to do about it?" Just like that. He wasn't being sarcastic or trying to get me off my posterior. He was just asking me, since I was someone who would *do* things, what I intended to do about what I disliked. It threw me off gaurd. That was then.
Today, I'm a mere shadow of who I used to be. I've...ummm feel like the fire has gone out of me. This before I've even started living, truly LIVING, instead of just exsiting is unacceptable. So this blog, is an attempt to re-discover myself. To take a good hard look at myself, both physically and emotionaly/mentally and DO something about the things I don't like.
Is there something in your life that you don't like?
What are _you_ going to do about it?
